Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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