I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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