Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
