Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
