I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
