"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
