I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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