so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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