idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
