I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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