This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
