I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
