I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
