yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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