Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
