i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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