I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
