Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
