OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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