We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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