Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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