Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more