Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize