Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
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We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen