Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
did you just send me my own nude
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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