I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.