Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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