I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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