Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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