hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
