I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
