He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
this is an emotional support booty call
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