It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
