We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
