remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
