Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
