? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
