omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
