Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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