Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
