he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
