Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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