better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
