Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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