He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
