I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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