apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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