I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
