Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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