3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize