i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
