He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Damn victory sex feels great
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
