I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
