is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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