break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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