my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
