I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
