By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This is the high leading the old right now
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
