so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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