North Korea, Best Korea!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
