and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
