It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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