he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
