Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
