come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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