Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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