I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
