mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
